My birthday

Let’s see what I wrote last year…ok…

Well, here it comes again:

Now that I am 26 and that today was just another nail in the coffin, let’s write out a few guidelines for the coming year. But first, let’s us see what good resolutions I kept:

-I completed my dental reconstruction.

-Yes, I do shave my legs more often (no more lazy hairy yeti), and I even take care of my hair (straighteners, curlers, shower cap).

-I’ve not produced a lot of fiction, but a good deal of academic writing, as well as a good first-try painting.

-I do get along with my colleagues and pupils this year and am looking forward to pursue my career.

-I am doing that translation/interpreting course.

Other things that happened to me:

-I’ve explored Scotland a little bit more.

-I’ve booked a trip to Norway.

-I’ve improved my Spanish.

-I’ve made new friends and kept old ones.

-I’ve got a clear picture of what I want to achieve artistically, academically and professionally and how to reach it.

-I’ve discovered a lot artistically, in the realm of cinema and music. Not as much as I wanted, but, the hell with it…

The black stains that cannot be washed off:

-I’m still very much anorexic and my weight has plummeted lately. I’ve taken to something like five coffees a day and often do 48 -hours days.

-I’m not happy where I am and it makes me mad with frustration + I’m fretting out about the incertainty of my future job/country/salary/language.

-I will not be happy until I achieve what I want to achieve and get proper recognition for it (which I will resent, of course, but I’ll still be better).

My guidelines for next year:

-Try to cope with the frustration by creating, without starving myself, though it seems impossible to do that alone.

-Go on learning and producing, it can only better my prospects for the future.

-Keep in touch with people I like AND who are good to me.

-Try to enjoy life without thinking I was born to do a special thing in Norway, or meet a special person, because it’s not coming and my not knowing what it is just make me feel frustrated (yet, the feeling is there).

Let’s see how it goes and hope I’ll be there next year.